


Striving for Another Day

by Skita (CreativeGirl98)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: 2018 Winter Olympics, Cancer, Eventual Happy Ending, Graphic Depictions of Illness, M/M, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, description of panic attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 01:49:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13730556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreativeGirl98/pseuds/Skita
Summary: "It was only a headache."At least, that’s what Yuri Plisetsky kept telling himself, that is until an emergency visit to the hospital tells him otherwise. All of a sudden everything he worked so hard for seems so far out of his reach as well as the image he worked so damn hard to build. He couldn't allow himself to look like the stereotypical weak, sick, pitiable child nor couldn't let his chance at competing in the Olympics disappear even if that meant hiding the nature of his illness from everyone that cared the most. The only questions remain can he work through his illness, learn to stop pushing everyone away and claim Olympic gold or will he allow his illness to claim him mentally and physically?





	Striving for Another Day

**Author's Note:**

> I'd Like to start off by saying that this story was originally going to be written for the YOIShitbang before this took on a mind of its own. I wasn't quite happy with it then but I am now. I do hope that you enjoy this ride. 
> 
> TW for this first chapter: Graphic Depictions of Panic Attacks

**Russia’s Up and Coming Ice Prince Fantastic World’s Performance, Can We Expect Olympic Gold in 2018?**

_By Elena Kedzierska_

After a near perfect season Yuri Plisetsky wowed the stadium again with a beautiful performance with a combined total of 310.78, only 9 points off from his personal best. This, just coming off of a shaky Grand Prix, just snagging third place in the final upon Viktor Nikiforov's return to the ice. Though this year’s Worlds finally cemented one thing above all else, Plisetsky is definitely not just another Nikiforov copycat. Yes, time and time again we’ve heard the comparison of the two, from how similar their junior years were, to Plisetsky’s hair and the similar techniques in the way the two perform. I feel his Worlds performance finally cemented him in his own place and style. If his 2016 gala performance helped him shed his innocent skating image as The Russian Fairy, then this performance, from the music choice to the outfit, definitely solidified himself as the edgy prince his fans already knew him as.

Truly this performance has me and probably many others wondering what the 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics hold for us. Without out a doubt this performance has definitely guaranteed him a spot on Russia’s olympic team. This only has us wondering, can this mean we’ll see olympic gold for Plisetsky in the near future? With several of the great skaters such as Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki nearing retirement this may be his best year to win gold, although I doubt those two are going to go down without a fight. If anything I think both Katsuki and Nikiforov should watch out, this kid’s future is looking very bright. This is going to be one hell of an Olympics to look forward to.

 

* * *

 

“You have such a bright future ahead of you.”

“You’re so talented!”

Yuri Plisetsky couldn’t count how many times he’s heard these phrases. From the moment he first stepped on the ice he was figure skating’s newest prodigy, almost as if it was preordained for him to one of the best Russian skaters. As if he was to be as invincible as everyone made it seem, as invincible as he felt at the top of his entire junior year.

He could almost scoff at the whole idea now.

His so called Invincibility and the future soon to come had always felt like two separate entities that just so happened to exist.

As far as he was concerned, his future was already mapped out.  
  
He’d go to the olympics, win gold, and finally not be overshadowed by Viktor’s obnoxiously large fucking legacy. To finally come into his own and not be in the shadow of one of the biggest idols to live.

Now, everything was fucked.

It was just a headache.

Since the start of the season that’s what he told himself, only now does that sound like the biggest lie in the world. He had known from the beginning that a headache should never feel this bad. But that wasn't his problem at the time. So he just ignored it.

It wasn't as if he was trying to hide anything just if he ignored it then he’d be fine. If he simply didn’t even acknowledge the existence of it, everything would be fine.

And, at first ignoring everything wasn’t hard. It became a detailed routine of acting as if his brain wasn't throbbing against his skull. As if his he didn’t realize his timing on his jumps just seemed the slightest bit off. That maybe, just maybe, all of his failed jumps during practices were pure nerves, since after all the next season mattered a hell of a lot more if he wanted a shot in the Olympics.

That was all he heard in his head after each hard fall to the ice, how important that actually was. How important striving in the Grand Prix finally was and how winning worlds should be his absolute goal. How he couldn’t afford to keep falling like this, how coming in anything lower that second place was not, would not be anywhere near acceptable for him. So it was a simple choice for him.

Or at least it was simple until the side effects of these so called headaches happened alongside them. Each day became like clockwork, expecting throbbing against skull as soon as he opened his eyes to clutching the toilet each morning to empty whatever was in his stomach. Practice went from jumps being slightly off to either being sloppy at best or just fucked up all together. For the life of him it was as if he could never get the balance he needed to keep himself upright on even the simplest jumps.

On good days were the days he didn’t wake up feeling like absolute shit, the days he could skate his routine semi-decently. They were the days his jumps were just off and didn’t have the taste of ice in his mouth. These days he could keep his defiant smirk on his face and think maybe he isn’t feeling that bad.

On bad days it would be the days he contemplates skipping practice because the pain in his head kept him up all night, the days that he just goes anyway because he can’t just afford to skip. Those were the days he doesn’t even attempt any jumps because he could barely keep himself skating straight in the first place.

It became a game of ignorance and endurance. Pretending nothing was wrong. After all it was just a headache.

If he could just ignore the ever persistent pain and all of the strange side effects it brought with it until after Worlds, and even possibly the Olympics, then everything would be worth it.

For the longest he pretended that everything was easy to ignore, that is until this morning when this so called headache sent him convulsing on the ice in the middle of practice.

Obviously things hadn’t gone exactly to plan.

 

* * *

 

Best_Pork_CutletBowl  
GUYS YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS!  
So I was walking by that one rink where Yuri practices, right? And I couldn’t believe what I saw!  
YURI WAS BEING WHEELED INTO AN AMBULANCE!! I’M NOT EVEN JOKING LOOK HERE!

Yuri!!!.png  
I really hope he’s okay! :(

Comments Oldest **Most Recent**

[Anonymous]     1m ago     Reply  
OH MY GOD IS MY HUSBAND OKAY??

Imani41     1m ago     Reply  
Holy shit, it doesn’t even look like he’s conscious! The hell, is he alright??????

[Anonymous]     3m ago     Reply  
Are you sure that’s Yuri?  
      [Anonymous]     4m ago     Reply  
      Are you blind?????????  
            [Anonymous]     5m ago     Reply  
            Op coulda got it wrong. That could just be someone who looks similar...  
**[View 3 comments]**

[Anonymous]     4m ago     Reply  
do you fangirls even think before posting??? cause I know id totally love to have half the internet see me barely conscious  
     [Anonymous]     12m ago     Reply  
     They’re fangirls, these people never think  
**[View 4 comments]**

BigBootiJudi     4m ago     Reply  
What’s he going to the hospital for? I hope he’s alright. We love you Yuri!!

[Anonymous]    5m ago     Reply  
Oh my god I hope he’s gonna be okay!! Do we know what happened yet????

BBY     6m ago     Reply  
[Removed by user]

[Anonymous]     6m ago     Reply  
Fuck that fairy lookin ass bitch. He deserves it. Hopefully he’ll die on the way to the hospital LOL  
       [Anonymous]     8m ago     Reply  
       ^^^ Fuck you, you shouldn’t wish shit like that on people  
**[View 18 comments]**  
  
[Anonymous]   7m ago   Reply  
My Poor Baby!!!

xOliXx    7m ago      Reply  
[Removed by user]

[Anonymous]      7m ago      Reply  
Isn’t this an invasion of privacy?? Like… he’s going to the hospital. LET HIM BREATHE!

[Anonymous]      8m ago      Reply  
I agree, OP you should really take this down.

[Anonymous]      9m ago      Reply  
Who cares? He’s famous anyway, this would get out regardless

Anii     9m ago     Reply  
[Removed by user]

[Anonymous]     10m ago      Reply  
Lots of love to Yuri! I hope he’s okay. ;-;

[Anonymous]      10m ago      Reply  
He’s gonna be okay, I know it! He’s gotta be okay!!

[Anonymous]     11m ago     Reply  
Am I the only one happy to see this???

xxNyli58xx 12m ago Reply  
I just hope he’s out for the season, If I wanted to watch an edgy kid skate I’d watch my little sister  
     [Anonymous]     12m ago     Reply  
     Right? He’s like an edgy emo kid. Probably cries alone in his room listening to My Chemical Romance. “Wah wah no one understands me 5edgy4u”.  
**[View 5 comments]**

[Anonymous]     13m ago      Reply  
Sweet! No edgy little shits this year!

[Anonymous]     14m ago     Reply  
I really hope Yuri’s okay! Hopefully it’s just a sprained ankle or something minor like that.

[Anonymous]     16m ago     Reply  
Can yall hop off his dick for like two seconds? Seriously he’s in the damn hospital, do you really think he’d want an unconscious picture out there? You fangirls are insufferable sometimes

[Anonymous]     17m ago     Reply  
OP, please. Take this down. He’s on the way to the hospital. Let him have some privacy.

<< < **1** 2 3 4 5  > >>

 

**[Admin has closed the conversation]**

* * *

 

 

“Why,” Viktor had spoken up, filling the long silent room with his voice snapping Yuri back to the present, “Why, didn't you say something sooner?”

Yuri couldn’t help but scoff, paying attention to anything but the other in the room. “It wasn’t that serious. You really think I should have worried everyone over a few headaches?”

He shot a look at the boy, _Not that serious’ my ass!_ Viktor thought. He’d seen this boy skate since he was 10, he would have had to be absolutely dense not to notice something was off about him. “You had a seizure, Yuri. Do you think that’s not serious enough to get worried over?”

The boy stared at him with a disinterested glance, rolling his eyes at how big a deal Viktor’s making out of nothing. “You’re being over dramatic as usual. It's not like it was a seizure before.”

“Wait before? How long you have you even been this sick?” He fell silent looking over back at the window as Viktor stared at him with an incredulous look.

It wasn’t that serious at first, did that idiot really think he’d let it get this far if it was. But then again getting to his main goal, wouldn't have had time for any random illness. Besides it wasn't as if he was some weakling. It was just a headache, nothing more, right?

As if on cue, the doctor rapped on the door frame, pulling Yuri from his thoughts. “Mr.Plisetsky?”

“Yes?” Yuri replied.

“I’m Dr. Isaak Melnikov. How are you doing?” The doctor said, extending his hand to Yuri, who took the doctor’s hand, shaking it and saying nothing “And you are…?”

“Oh, I’m a friend of the family, Viktor Nikiforov, I'm here as his grandfather won't be here for another day.” He extended his hand, shaking the doctor’s hand.

“Does shitty answer your question?” Yuri said looking between the two. Honestly how much long was this going to go on? Honestly he just wanted to go to bed and sleep off whatever the hell it was wrong with him.

Viktor shot him a look to which the doctor simply brushed it off with a small chuckle. “I can imagine, being here for several hours will do that. But that’s not the main reason why I came to see you today, I think we know now what's causing your headaches and this seizure” The doctor he flipped through his clipboard, withdrawing a folder. “It seems like we had found an abnormal mass of tissue located near your cerebellum. The back of your brain, that is.” Dr. Melnikov produced two X-rays, pinning them up on the lightscreen in front of the hospital bed. The flick of a switch brought the lightscreen to life, displaying what could only be Yuri’s brain. “We’d have to do more tests to figure out if the mass there is benign or malignant but…” Dr. Melnikov had stopped short of finishing his sentence as Yuri spoke up.

“What do you mean by saying there's a mass at the back of my brain? I was perfectly fine this morning!” Maybe ‘perfectly’ was a bit of an over statement but none of this was making a shred of sense to him. How the fuck did he suddenly get a mass or whatever that was? Where did this thing come from? Why did this have to happen now?

His brain had to be going at a million miles a second to to even try to comprehend. Of whatever the fuck this was. Hell, none of this made a single shred of sense.

“As sudden as this can seem, you’ve said that you had a number of symptoms spanning over the course of the last several months. Over that time this mass had probably gotten to the size that it is now and led to you being here,” As Dr. Melnikov continued to speak, it got more and more difficult for him to comprehend any of the words and explanations that were coming out of is mouth. Was Dr. Melnikov even speaking Russian at this point? Yuri couldn’t tell. This didn't...this wasn’t right. He had to have been looking at the damn x-rays wrong. Or something, right? “....Is that alright, Yuri?”

Yuri snapped his attention back to the doctor, “What?”

Dr. Melnikov was kind enough to repeat himself “I said, I’d like to keep you here for another two or three days to run more tests, possibly order a biopsy, and keep you here for observation,” Yuri had to keep himself from scoffing at this, observation? And what the shit was a biopsy? It sounded like he was their lab rat they had solely to poke and prod. If they weren’t entirely sure they knew what was going on.

“Will I still be able to go back and skate after this?” He looked over at the man, no matter what he wasn’t going to let anything take away his shot at the olympics.

“How about we see what the results of everything say before I give you a definitive answer.” He wasn’t an idiot, either whatever was at the back of his brain was worse than Dr. Melnikov was letting on or his apparent seizure was worse than it was.

If anything it was possible the doctor could see how uncomfortable Yuri was getting as he gave him a tight squeeze on shoulder. “I’m sure everything is going to be alright.” After everything this man just explained to him he could almost highly doubt that. Everything was fucking ruined, that’s what it was.

Yuri felt himself collapse back against the bed as the good doctor left, was the world spinning? More specifically, was his perfect world he built up starting to shatter? Talk about bad timing, what the hell was he supposed to do if the test didn’t come back right?

And his brain. What the fuck did the Dr. Melnikov mean by a large mass? Why was there even a mass there in the first place?

His head hurt just thinking about it. It was overwhelming to think that he was healthy for all these years only for something to...Wait. It’s not like he really should think about the worst possibility. It was possible everything was fine. Or as ‘fine’ as it could be.

“Yura I’m sure-” Viktor started seemingly attempting to offer comfort only to be cut off with Yuri’s tired but irritated voice. “I don’t want to hear it.” He said, only his voice didn’t have the same edge to it that he intended.

He didn’t want to be bothered with anything at the moment, he wanted to turn his brain off if only for a few hours and not think about anything until his grandfather had gotten there. He turned to his side, staring outside the window watching the rain splash against the window as started to drift to sleep hoping this only a nightmare.

 

* * *

 

If there was one thing Yuri hated about being a semi public figure it had to be the fact his fangirls never gave him a moment to breathe. Never a clear chance to take break from everything. Quite frankly, it was beyond annoying.

If he wasn’t being ambushed in Barcelona, it was a fangirl yelling about seeing him in some store online and if it wasn’t that, it was the absolute pleasure to see he had made front page tabloid news by his first morning in the hospital.

Mortified, Annoyed, Angry. There were not enough words to describe the absolute feeling of disgust and lack of privacy that morning. Not only that, there was almost no gossipy article that did not have a candid picture of his unconscious form on a stretcher. He could almost scream at the idiot that had the nerve to even snap a picture, not that would solve anything. He’d feel better in the very least.

And then there were the missed calls and text messages from Otabek, Mila, Goregi, his grandfather, from everyone who wasn't there, trying to gauge the situation or wether or not he was okay. All this without even uttering a word. The fact that knowing they’ve all seen the picture, they’ve all seen him damn near helpless, it was humiliating. From that moment Yuri wanted to shut the world out. So no nosy girls could snoop so far into his personal life.

It was so frustrating not to do anything about the sudden direction his life was in. Even when his grandfather had finally gotten there, he had already know the gist of the situation before Yuri was even able to get a word out.

It was annoying but it made it so much easier just to hug his grandpa, and be a scared child for that moment.

Honestly the best thing about his grandpa being there was that he had someone other than Viktor that stuck around the hospital with him. Someone he had the opportunity to be honest with and be honest with him in return. At least someone that could tell him there was nothing to be scared of and sounded mostly as they believed it in turn.

Even as today marked day five in the hospital, his grandpa had essentially moved in. It was only a rare few moments he see the man leave to go back to his hotel. He almost couldn’t put into words how much he appreciated him being here.

Yuri made a move sitting up in bed, smiling and flashing the peace sign, angling his phone to snap a selfie.  
“Yura, you do realize this fourth time you’ve snapped a picture of the same thing?” Yuri could almost laugh at the exasperation in his grandfather’s voice.

“I just need to update my instagram, to let them know i’m alright” He said as if that most obvious thing in the world, not even looking up from the phone.

“The other day” Viktor started, amused, “weren’t you going on and on about how much you didn’t like them? About how-”

“The crazy ones, I dont like the crazy ones.” He cut him off, starting to elaborate just as there was a soft knock at the door as Dr. Melnikov walked into the room.

Something was off, Yuri could tell looking up from the phone, it was almost as if the air had shifted. Something just didn’t feel right.

Dr. Melnikov slipped into an easy tone, a soft yet somehow somber smile. The first red flag. “I’m glad to see you’re not bored today Yuri.”

“Hard not to bored where there's nothing to do here except being poked”

The doctor laughed, “I can imagine. Although,” He made a move to pull some papers out from his folder. “I have some news and results for you. The first bit is that within the next hour or so, we’ll have your discharge papers for you. Meaning you can go home.”

Yuri had to almost force himself to not to jump with joy and change into his street clothes in that instant. They were the words he had been waiting for, for the past week almost. He could go home. Fucking finally. However it was what hung at the end of Dr. Melnikov’s sentence that kept him from celebrating. It was some scary uncertainty that was building.

“What about the test results?” It was Nikolai that spoke before he had a chance to. He could see as the doctor took a deep breath looking between the three in the room and closed the door. The second red flag.

“When Yuri had been first admitted here I spoke about the mass that was found on the back of his brain. Yesterday we had just gotten back the results of the back of the biopsy. It…” And Yuri knew even before the doctor was able to get the words out.

Malignant. A brain tumor. Cancer. Medulloblastoma. It wasn’t, It couldn’t be and yet it was his test results, his doctor, everything staring him in the face.

And then no one moved, no one said a word. It didn’t make sense, why wasn't anyone saying anything. Why wasn’t anyone calling the doctor a damned liar. That's not true, that can’t be fucking true. He was a future olympian goddamn it. This wasn’t...this wasn’t...This was not happening.

The room was becoming much too small. Too oppressive, the air felt as if it was almost too heavy to breath. He couldn’t breath. He couldn’t think. His fucking brain was trying to kill him and...what if. There were too many what ifs. What if he died, died on the operating table while they were trying to fix whatever the fuck this...even was. What if the disease killed him? What if the media found out? Lord his image would be ruined. What if? What if?

And he was going to die. Oh God, he was going to actually die wasn’t he? He had so much to live for. So much to do. And it was over. It was going to be over. He was dead. He was still living and breathing but dying all the same. And he just-

He didn’t even realize he starting to panic until he felt a strong hand on his shoulder, a disembodied voice asking him if he was alright. Of course he wasn’t alright, as far as he knew he was given a career ruining death sentence. He shook out of the hold of the man, his hand had a death grip on his phone, his gaze on the bed sheet in front of him.

“Yuri, you’re going to be alright we’re going-” Yuri couldn’t tell who said that.

“You can’t just say I’m going to be alright after saying I have fucking brain cancer!” He shouted at no one in particular, “You basically just told me I’m going to die and you want to say I’m alright?”

“No, Yuri what I’m saying is that-”

“...Out...All of you get out.”

Looks bounced around the room, before Dr. Melnikov sighed in what seemed to be understanding, turning to both Viktor and Nikolai. “Let's give Yuri a moment. I have a few things I’d like to discuss outside.” The three of them shuffled outside, the door shut behind them as their voices carried down the hall.

This was not happening to him. His brain was falling apart and it was going to kill him. He was going to die, being murdered by his own brain. This was not how anything was supposed to go.

The next thing he knew his phone had flown out of his hand in to the nearby wall, slamming his fist into the bed as a sob ripped through him. This was not how it was supposed to go this year. No, he was going to...Going to...What even was the point? Did anything matter at this point?

He just wanted to go home, go back to Moscow with his grandpa and his cat. And what then? What was even there for him? A waiting game of doctor appointment upon doctor appointment? He could do the same thing here.The main reason for him living in St. Petersburg was to skate, but that was in flames wasn't it?

Hastily, Yuri went to wipe at the frustrated tears from his face. It was just a headache and yet…  
If this was to be his last year, then he was going to be in the Olympics even if it killed him. As much as he doubted everything, that was one dream, one constant he was damn well going to hold on to.

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been staring at this chapter since July, It feels so great for it finally be online! I honestly wasn't expecting how near and personal this story would become to me. I hope you have enjoyed the first chapter, the second chapter is in the works so I'm sure it won't be too long before I have that posted. Feel free to talk to me on tumblr!: http://wannaberichgirl.tumblr.com/  
> Also, I am not a medical professional so everything written here is based on research and my own experiences with illness. There are a few libraries I have taken, but I am doing my best to portray this in a knowledgeable and respectful manner.


End file.
